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Angelic Fruitcake

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Damn IT [17 May 2005|03:32pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Myspace is fried again...motherfucker...

3 comments|post comment

Madness on a Monday [19 Apr 2005|12:26am]
[ mood | drunk ]

This is what happened today: I slept until noon. Woke up, showereddd and all that...then...hold on I forget...oh yeah I walked to the library and hung out with Dez at Quiznos but didnt eat anything...walked home...took a nap...went to O Charlies with Robbie and ate a chicken salad that was reaLLY really good. Then went to CD Connection and hung out with Heather and 40% of Goodwen, AKA Dustin and Jordan, bought 2 CD's: M.I.A. "Arular" which RUUULES and The Sugarcubes...cuz anything Bjork is good. Then I took yet another nap. The heat makes me tired, I don't know why. Then suddenly Susan, Ellen and Barb showed up at my place and I hung out with them first at my Apartment then at the Skatepark with Brian. Yay I love Brian. AND I LOVE SUSAN!!!! And after all that I walked to Midtonia and now I am drunk with Mark. And rambling on a livejournal that I havent rambled on in like a year. YEah. No one cares and no one is going to read this anyway. I guess I just havent been on because Myspace is my number one lame website obsession and because I dont really have a computer of my own. BUUUUURRRP Mmmm gotta love that King Cobra. Ashlee Simpson SSUCKS. Why the hell does she have to spell her name A-S-H-L-E-E? Why? Because she tries too hard in every aspect of her life. GOD. I need to become a Christian so I can be trendy again. I feel like a has-been these days. The obvious trend is the Jesuscore. I go to a Goodwen show and its like I am the only gay man there, yet every guy there is accesorizing and teasing the hair and coordinating the outfit for the Lord, man. Let me tell ya. I am personally not a follower in organized religion AT ALL, but its kinda not fair that I have to feel like an outcast in the music scene because I don't get down with the G-O-D. I mean, I hate to talk too much shit because alot of these people are REALLY GOOD PEOPLE. I mean religion aside, these guys and girls are so nice and friendly. But I am a firm believer in that ol time rock n roll, and this scene is so....hygenic? There should be only so much focus on fashion and religion before it gets in the way of the music. Thats just what I think. But I LOVE Goodwen, they are so fucking talented. And the lead singer is one of the kindest human beings on the planet. I just need to ACCEPT that as long as I live here, I just have to be the outcaste. I am the scapegoat for all those who are afraid to be who they are. I am GAY ZAC. I am notorious for being gay, and when you think about it, that is really fucking ignorant. I didn't fuck anyone to get that title, all I did was be honest. There is someone in this town that has sexually molested animals in the past and is still accepted by his peers and gossiped about less than I am. Think about that. Thats fucking rediculous.

11 comments|post comment

Boys In Ohio [23 Nov 2004|01:14am]
Pull that bible out your ass, you queer. If you had sex with me, you are not a heterosexual! FUCK YOU!
5 comments|post comment

John Cusak, Condoms, and Anarchy. What more could I need? [22 Nov 2004|01:33pm]
Your Ultimate One Night Stand... by crispnite
LJ Username
Favorite animal
You invite over...
They bring...
You talk about...
You end up...falling in love
Quiz created with MemeGen!
1 comment|post comment

This is good shit, everybody read how I cussed out evil Erika, especially you Butch [17 Nov 2004|01:12am]
Frostiflake9 is Gay Zac (me!) and An Angel Cursed is Scariky Erika the bitch with the dumb yellow car


(00:39:24) an angel cursed: hey i have a question


(00:43:28) Frostiflake9: who is this


(00:47:22) an angel cursed: this is erika


(00:47:41) an angel cursed: i wanted to know if you have justins number cause we wanna call sns and harass the waiters


(00:48:08) Frostiflake9: why do u need justins number to do that


(00:48:15) an angel cursed: he has their number


(00:48:18) an angel cursed: we dont


(00:48:27) Frostiflake9: their as in who?


(00:48:31) Frostiflake9: tony and josh?


(00:48:36) an angel cursed: hehe yeah


(00:48:46) Frostiflake9: erika you are so immature


(00:48:55) an angel cursed: no im just high


(00:49:05) an angel cursed: and we are so bored cause we cant be loud


(00:49:16) Frostiflake9: stop harrassing boys because they are hot. thats what u do in 5th grade


(00:49:26) an angel cursed: and?


(00:49:35) an angel cursed: we're all drunk. what else is there to do


(00:49:37) Frostiflake9: hahahhahaha


(00:49:39) Frostiflake9: <3


(00:49:54) an angel cursed: okay fuck you. your shitty and boring


(00:50:02) Frostiflake9: no im not


(00:50:09) an angel cursed: are too thanks bye


(00:50:17) Frostiflake9: im trying to get the numbers u bitch


(00:50:27) Frostiflake9: im talking to justin


(00:50:34) an angel cursed: no dont its immature remember


(00:50:54) Frostiflake9: i was kidding


(00:50:57) Frostiflake9: jeez


(00:51:09) Frostiflake9: dont call me boring i am not boring


(00:51:16) an angel cursed: your sense of humor is kinda dry online hun


(00:51:34) an angel cursed: okay if your not boring, round up some cute guys and come over


(00:51:43) an angel cursed: we're all drunk and high and we need more people


(00:52:02) Frostiflake9: im not contributing to your dirty orgy std party


(00:52:12) an angel cursed: no one is fucking


(00:52:17) an angel cursed: and thats why we are bored


(00:52:32) an angel cursed: its all alcohol and drugs


(00:52:37) an angel cursed: we need more people


(00:53:21) an angel cursed: but if you wanna be like that whatever im out


(00:53:31) Frostiflake9: ok let me get the nubmers


(00:53:48) an angel cursed: thats okay. i dont want to be so immature


(00:54:01) Frostiflake9: well then theres an improvement


(00:54:07) an angel cursed: fuck off.


(00:54:15) Frostiflake9: tony and josh are both at steak and shake, why dont u just go there


(00:54:21) an angel cursed: you dont fucking know mw


(00:54:24) an angel cursed: so just fuck off


(00:54:33) Frostiflake9: why are u being such a bitch?


(00:54:42) Frostiflake9: i was joking and u are biting my head off


(00:54:54) an angel cursed: yeah your joking all right\



(00:55:17) an angel cursed: i dont care. i need sex then mabe ill chill out som


(00:57:20) Frostiflake9: call butch---not


(00:57:41) an angel cursed: ewww


(00:57:48) an angel cursed: i'd rather fuck a dog


(00:57:50) Frostiflake9: btw that offended me when you were calling him an ugly faggot the other day


(00:58:00) an angel cursed: sorry but i really hate him


(01:00:43) Frostiflake9: btw he didnt want to fuck you anymore basically because you are horrible in bed


(01:01:55) Frostiflake9: and you admit that yourself all the time that u dont try


(01:02:05) Frostiflake9: so i dont see why u need to be so mad at him


(01:02:34) an angel cursed: cause he was a fuckhead about being friends


(01:04:35) an angel cursed: and i do try, but only if i have a reason to


(01:15:23) an angel cursed: Thanks for giving random people my screen name


(01:15:29) an angel cursed: Really fucking cute


(01:15:34) Frostiflake9: hahahahahhahaha


(01:15:35) Frostiflake9: sorry


(01:15:37) Frostiflake9: LOL


(01:15:44) an angel cursed: Fuck you Zac.


(01:16:00) an angel cursed: I dont need anymore peoples shit or fucking drama


(01:16:09) an angel cursed: So lose my screen name and fuck off


(01:16:22) Frostiflake9: dude what the fuck


(01:16:28) Frostiflake9: ha


(01:16:59) an angel cursed: Dude, this chick is being a total bitch to me


(01:17:04) an angel cursed: Thanks a fucking lot


(01:17:14) Frostiflake9: well u love controversy dont u


(01:17:23) an angel cursed: huh?


(01:18:07) an angel cursed: I dont like for you to give my screen name out to someone i dont know


(01:19:38) an angel cursed: who just wants to start some bullshit i dont even give a fuck about


(01:19:45) an angel cursed: screw you both

8 comments|post comment

Res...oh my god [14 Nov 2004|04:28am]
My friend Cassidy played me one of the best soul albums I've heard lately: "How I Do" by Res. It this gorgeous rock/soul/R&B album with fucking amazing lyrics and vocals. Everyone who has respect for soul music and good R&B will love this album! This woman is awesome. Check her out.
post comment

*Bows* [09 Nov 2004|09:50pm]
PJ Harvey is a God.
1 comment|post comment

Ugh part 2 [06 Nov 2004|12:41pm]
I am the gossip queen! I just recently realized this when my friend Brandon Oney told me that every piece of gossip he hears has the words "Zac said" attached at the beginning. My mouth has been getting me in trouble since high school!

My throat STILL hurts.

My least favorite questions that people ask me are:

"Did that hurrrt?" (In reference to my piercings)
"Are you still at Wal-mart?"
"How's school?"
"You're a bottom, right?"

My favorite question that people ask me is:
"Are you in a band? What do you play?" I LOOOVE THAT
4 comments|post comment

Ugh... [06 Nov 2004|11:42am]
I am a bit disgusted by those who chose to use my last entry as a battleground for teen drama...just remember kids, I graduated from high school over a year ago and we handle disputes differently in the real world kids...grow the fuck up.

So I was SO CLOSE to getting this used 2002 Cavalier for only 7500, but apparently Cavaliers are dangerous cars because I could not find an insurance company that would fully cover me for less than $1000 every six months. I can't afford that bullshit. I am so pissed and the Automobile and Insurance industries. Blow yourselves. I am angry in general although no one really knows that because I'm sunny and friendly. I work every damn day of my life now so it seems. GOTTA SAVE!!!
4 comments|post comment

SHAME [03 Nov 2004|12:16pm]
SHAME on Ohio if Bush wins this state. Although, what a surprise; right? For example, let me just tell everyone about my little voting experience yesterday. Perhaps it'll give u a better perspective on things. First of all, I am registered in Preble County at my parents address although I have been in Middletown for over a year. So my mom had to come get me and take me to Gratis to vote, since my car broke down 2 weeks ago. The discussion in the car was interesting as usual. My Mom had the nerve to ASK ME to vote YES on Issue 1, the marriage protection plan. What a crock of motherfucking BULL. What a bitch. When I objected, she threatened to turn around and not take me to the voting booth. BITCH. Thats a TRUE FUCKING REPUBLICAN right there. Lets prevent those who don't agree from voting at all. But luckily that didn't happen, although she harrassed me the whole way for voting democratic. Ok I'm about to have a little immature outburst here. (Starts yelling in a southern accent) SAVE THEM BABIES! SAVE THEM BABIES! SAVE BABIES, NOT GAY PEOPLE!!!! STOP THEM GAY PEOPLE FROM MARRYING! SAVE THEM CHRISTIAN BABIES INSTEAD!!! Fuck you fucking republicans and your anti-abortion SHIT! That is not a good enough reason to elect someone! George W is trying to legislate morality and THAT IS NOT RIGHT. It doesn't work that way. You can't change the constitution like that. There has to be a separation of church and state, ASSHOLES! George uses Christian morality to SUCK people into his ideals. He is the same kind of passionate public speaker as goddamned HITLER himself. SHAME on Ohio. Yesterday I am standing in a goddamned BARN. Freezing to death. I had to trudge through MUD to vote. I'm standing there getting stared at by people in flannel shirts and tight wrangler jeans. I'm listening to people throughout the room, and I swear I was the only person there voting for Kerry. Of course, I'm dressed like MISS AMERICA in my anti-bush tshirt, my fur coat, my piercings, and my cut off pants and black chucks. Getting stared at like I'm in Al Quaida. Whatever. I cast my ballot and I STOOD THERE at watched the old fart drop it in the ballot box. I wasnt about to let those rednecks throw my fucking vote away. Bush has pretty much won agian. Let me rephrase that---Bush has pretty much CHEATED again. No one seems to talk about how he CHEATED the first time as well. Once again, there is confusion with the ballots in Florida, Ol' Jeb is making Dad proud. Poor Jeb isnt good enough to run for fucking president so he's gotta help out Bubba. Our country is going down the shitter. FUCK IT.
56 comments|post comment

*Theme Song* [04 Aug 2004|12:20pm]
Hey
I'm one big queen
No one can stop me
Red light, red green
Sat back, I'm watching
I'm number one
Second to no one
No sweat, I'm clean
Nothing can touch me

Tell you my name
F-U-C-K
50 ft Queeny
force 10 hurricane
Biggest woman
I could have 10 sons
10 gods 10 queens
10 ft and rising

Hey, I'm the king o' the world
You'd better hear my song
You come on, measure me
I'm twenty inches long

50 ft queeny

Glory, glory
Lay it all on me
50 ft Queeny
50 and rising
U bend ova
Cassa nova
No sweat I'm clean
Nothin' can stop me

Hey, I'm the king 'o the world
- 50 ft Queeny -
 
8 comments|post comment

The Downward Spiral [02 Jul 2004|08:45am]
For everyone that doesnt know, I am currently homeless, and staying overnight on peoples couches. Its starting to sink in how miserable I am right now. I feel like a pit of blackness. Luckily I have several friends that have been helping me out: thank you so much Michele and Mark; and JD: you are the nicest guy in my life. Thank you. But for some reason regardless of the fact that I am surrounded by people who care...I have never felt so rejected and alone in my life...
11 comments|post comment

Advice for Gay Men. (Read this, its fucking hilarious. And about 98% true) [29 Jun 2004|02:35am]
1. You are not a strong black woman. You never will be.
2. I know it was terrible being the fag in your school/small town/own mind, but don't introduce yourself to people with this information. Being gay is, and should be, the least interesting thing about you.
3. If your mother is the greatest woman who ever lived, keep it to yourself. The holiday orphans don't want to hear it. On the flip side, your family will always be a part of you even if you never speak to them again, but try not to spend your life in reaction to them.
4. Rainbow flags, bumper stickers, and wind socks are no different than Green Bay Packers fans painting their faces green and gold: a complete embarrassment. Pride can be as ugly and warping as shame.
5. Gay life can be empty and depressing, but bitching about it outside the confines of a few close friends will get you tagged as bitter. Yes, the gay mainstream is alienating with its cookie-cutter bars, bad dance music, and Queer as Folk. It's enough to make you turn straight. But electroshock doesn't work and Jesus is a sci-fi character.
6. Don't fraternize with people who haven't come out.
7. Your masculinity has most likely been called into question. Anything you do in reaction to it will be a failure. Don't try to prove or disprove anything.
8. There is a difference between being effeminate and being a queen. Being effeminate is just that--being. Being a queen is an affectation. I can't throw a ball, but I don't call anyone "girl," even female children.
9. Avoid she-bonics: referring to each other as Girl, She, and Her. "What's her problem?" That you are an idiot. This includes: Bitchslap, Girlfriend, Shit pussy, Mangina.
10. Don't be a misogynist asshole. Leave the tuna jokes back in your small town with your usage of Jew as a verb. If it weren't for lesbians and feminism, we'd still be sucking cock in truck-stop restrooms. I mean exclusively.
11. I've never been to a bathhouse. No, really. So I can't advise you on it but I do know they are basically a petri dish of STDs. If you are okay with HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, and other STDs, by all means fuck your brains out.
12. Do not have black-and-white photos à la Bruce Weber taken of you and your beloved. And if you must, then don't hang them up as "art" in your home.
13. Don't kiss and tell. Or fuck, suck, rim, or fist and tell. Think of your bedroom like Vegas: What happens there stays there. It will keep you from gossiping, which is the true heart of darkness, and will create a sense of mystery. Besides the cruelty of nicknaming someone Princess Tiny Meat (it would make a wonderful DJ name though), it isn't good karma. And what modestly endowed dude who sucks a mean cock is going to want to go home with you after that?
14. Bros before hos. I learned this the hard way: Do not sleep with a friend's ex-boyfriend. Ever. Even if they say they don't care, they do.
15. You are 200 times more likely to be an alcoholic than your straight counterparts.
16. Beauty fades. Develop some inner resources, otherwise when it goes, those of us with less far to fall will laugh at you. To your aging face.
17. Men, like lotto tickets, should not be had every day. The odds are the same.
18. Romantic friendships will end up being neither.
19. Cultivate friendships with straight men. "But we have nothing in common," you say? Bullshit. You are men. Many straight men are in fact softer and sweeter than their faggoty brothers.
20. Make friends with at least one dyke, you silly faggot. When the shit goes down--for instance your mother dies--fags will drop you in an instant if you aren't fun. Dykes will come to your house with food.
21. Don't make friendships based solely around how outrageous you are. It's a shitty kind of attention.
22. Don't refer to anyone as a fag hag. It's rude. Also don't hang out with fag hags.
23. Don't date people who have scars that are older than you.
24. After all of that, you are still not a strong black woman.

The only one I don't like is number 6. Thats kinda uncompassionate.
11 comments|post comment

I want... [25 Jun 2004|02:46am]
[ mood | lonely ]

I want to be touched in a loving, affectionate, non-sexual way.

7 comments|post comment

Jennie and Brad: you will like this one alot [24 Jun 2004|12:53pm]
Stole this from myspace.com.... 

Poking fun at hypocrisy

Laura Schlesinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who
call in to her radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus
18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is
an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the
Internet. It's funny, as well as thought-provoking.

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's
Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims
that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I
own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period
of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have
tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing
odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor
is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly
states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or
should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination -
Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can
you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect
in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to
be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should
they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops
in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different
kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a
lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole
town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.

Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with
people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for
reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,

Zac
13 comments|post comment

Ani Difranco knows everything [22 Jun 2004|02:20am]
[ mood | ditzy ]

i search your profile
for a translation
i study the conversation
like a map
'cause i know there is strength
in the differences between us
and i know there is comfort
where we overlap

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so i can see your silhouette
i hope
you have got all night
'cause i'm not done looking,
no, i'm not done looking yet

each one of us
wants a piece of the action
you can hear it in what we say
you can see it in what we do
we negotiate with chaos
for some sense of satisfaction
if you won't give it to me
at least give me a better view

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so i can see your silhouette
i hope
you have got all night
'cause i'm not done looking
no, i'm not done looking yet

i build each one of my songs
out of glass
so you can see me inside of them
i suppose
or you could just leave the image of me
in the background, i guess
and watch your own reflection superimposed

i build each one of my days out of hope
and i give that hope your name
and i don't know you that well
but it don't take much to tell
EITHER YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS
OR YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME*

come here
stand in front of the light
stand still
so i can see your silhouette
i hope
you have got all night
'cause i'm not done looking
no, i'm not done looking yet

i search your profile for a translation
i study the conversation like a map
'cause i know there is strength
in the differences between us
and i know there is comfort
where we overlap...

*Capitalized section is for every guy I have ever dated. Fuck off.

It seems that every time I have a lovely, introspective song in my head I trip into something and nearly kill myself, as I discovered when taking the trash out; I ran into the right rear view mirror of my car and nearly fell on my face and got trash all over myself, while humming this song.

I'm going to bed.

2 comments|post comment

fucking awesome song [10 Jun 2004|06:06pm]
I got a little lisp
And I've been workin' on my limp wrist
See women are a drag
I think I wanna be a faggot now
A mincing ninny, prancing fairy, merry little queen
A Bruce LaBruce wet dream, a nancy boy with wings

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be...

Shock the middle class
Take it up your punk rock ass
You rub your little thing
When you see phony dykes in Penthouse magazine
So what's the difference?, Mr. Cream Rinse, you just need a man
A beefy leather fag, to take you out in drag, oh yeah

I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be...

Call me a faggot, call me a butt-lovin', fudge packin' queer
I don't care, 'cause it's the straight in straight-edge
That makes me wanna drink a beer and be a pansy, and be a homo
Shock the middle class
Take it up your punk rock ass
You rub your puny thing
When you see studs in tight jeans pass you on the street
Who wears short shorts?, you wear short shorts, you're so full of shit
Why don't you admit you don't have to balls to be a queer?

I wanna be, I wanna be homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be, I wanna be a homosexual
I wanna be a homosexual
4 comments|post comment

Gay Man's PMS [06 Jun 2004|09:23pm]
I was such a bitch this evening, I could just FEEL the angst churning inside me and I don't even know why. Hormones, I guess. I wanted to chew someone's face like Hannibal Lector. I made the mistake of telling Jeremy that I wanted to hang out with him tonight last night because I forgotten what day that Lonestar (Restaurant) had their karaoke night; and I didn't realize that it was Monday night until I found Josh online on my lunch break in the middle of the day. I had promised Josh I'd go with him but for some reason I guess I had thought that it was on Wednesday. So I had 2 different plans running together and I didn't want to ditch either of them. I picked Jeremy up from work and made him take a shower before we went out. I just got really really pissy, and I don't have a clue why...I was foaming at the mouth. So Jeremy and I picked up Josh and went to Lonestar and then Jeremy took my car to visit some dude. We go in the bar and there is Butch and Lauren, cool, so we hung out with them. I don't see what they see in that place honestly. I guess A) I was about to burst into flames anyway and B) This place wasn't my style and I was really uncomfortable, especially when Butch and Josh started kidding around about me being gay; I honestly thought I was going to be attacked. It was extremely redneck in there. Well not really redneck, but drunk frat-boy/hoochie slut moronic in there. Not everyone but a vast majority. But it wasn't all bad, just because a place isn't my scene doesn't mean I can't get over it and enjoy myself. And it was hilarious watching Josh get drunk.

After that we went to Steak and Shake with Jeremy which was great, and I got into a better mood then. But after that I for some reason wanted to take Jeremy home but I shouldn't have because I know it hurt his feelings...he wanted to stay with the rest of us and I was an ass for making him feel unwanted. I was such an ass goddamnit. And I have spent the rest of the night feeling horrible about it. What is wrong with me? I guess I am still getting used to having all these friends that want my attention...its overwhelming but I do love this acceptance that I have got from all of you. Jeremy I know I hurt you and for this I apologize...I make mistakes all the time I know I'm fucked up but I care about you so much. Tonight I was just in hormone overdrive...I had had a bad day at work and was stressed out...and I do irrational things when my stress level is up way high.

BTW thanks for the Screeching Weasels CD, Josh!
5 comments|post comment

Quote of the day: "Let's rape an emo kid!" [02 Jun 2004|06:09pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Today I slept till 3pm then got up and finished mowing the goddamned grass since the weather rudely interrupted me yesterday. Butch was hungry so I picked him and Josh up to go get food. We ended up going to Midtonia to look for Michele so Butch could pierce her nose but she wasnt there, only Mark. So we got this bright idea to go look for Jeni Barbosa at Claires but she wasn't there. So instead we hung out with Amanda Bcraft, Nick, David Gerrard and Kelly. Nick=hot. Hmm after that we ate at Chick-fil-a. Then we went to Wendys, not sure why. Then went to the practice room for 30 seconds so butch could get his pierce kit. Then went back to midtonia. And this motherfucking hot goth dude that ive seen at 1470's was at micheles apt. And this awesome ghetto chick whose name I forget, and her mexican boyfriend. Butch pierced Michele, then I got this bright idea to get my nipples pierced.

OUCH.


Them motherfuckers hurt like 2 LITTLE BITCHES!!!! Butch stayed there and I drove Josh home, panting all the way there. They are 14 gages. Motherfucker. MY TITS HURT!!! But oh well they look kinda cool...kinda distracts away from my chunk.



haha.




Today was fun.

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Rant about how gay people as well as most Americans are miserable and fucked up [01 Jun 2004|11:37pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

You know what? Gay people in the midwest are MISERABLE and FUCKED UP. Why? Because Jesus is our Lord and Savior. Because the midwest is socially 20 years behind both the east and west coast. Ok, here's my story. I go on a date with this guy today. We go to eat at the olive garden. The date seemed alright, except I did most of the talking. I was desperate for topics, I covered all the bases: school, home life, music, work, blahblahblah. He kept giving me these 5 word answers so naturally I get insecure about that, and start asking questions as to why he is acting so unusual. Then I go to the last and final resort-talking about myself, but you know what, if you don't wanna hear it, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. It was his fault. Well I eat my food and I'm satisfied, then we walk out and ask what to do next, it's 7:45. He gives me stupid shit about how he needs to do his HOMEWORK. Stupid motherfucking bullshit. So I leave, I'm like fuck this, I have straight friends who pay more attention to me than this. I go hang out with Butch and Josh for a few hours and have a great time doing practically nothing. I get online tonight and this guy is on. And he fucking tells me that I am basically a "flamer," that I flip my wrists and cross my legs and check out guys. I'm like YEAH I check out guys because I like guys, and I do NOT flip my wrists. That is dead wrong. I may cross my legs but so does practically everyone. I am offended, to a rediculous level. Well I dont want to explain it all, but this guy was troubled by the fact that I am gay and not a total closet case about it. I am casual about it, as opposed to being a paranoid schitzo about who knows. I just don't give a fuck. But I am not feminine. No matter what anyone says. I am just me. But this guy, OMG. There are so many people out there like him. They wanna be "straight acting." That is so self-depricating. That is basically letting this conservative society boss you around and blend in, and keep your "sinful ways" to yourself. FUCK a bunch of that. I mean, there are moments when you need to blend in. No matter what soapbox I'm standing on its still dangerous to say the wrong thing around like a redneck or a group of really macho close-minded morons. Don't poke a sleeping grizzly with a stick, thats stupid. But I have my right to live freely in this city and in this fucking country so sometimes people are just gonna have to see and hear things that make them uncomfortable. For those of you that know me, there is NOTHING about me that is reasonably offensive to the general public. If someone is offended because of a piercing, I am not sorry. If someone is offended because of the color of someones hair, NOT SORRY. If someone is offended because I am holding hands with a guy, GUESS WHAT, I AM NOT SORRY. And who is it that is usually offended? People who have no clue what it feels like to be stereotyped. Why are women so much more tolerent of gays than men? Because they have to deal with being a woman everyday in this dick-dictated society. I'm not going to change in order to please people, this is a conflict that a whole bunch of people can surely relate to. Thats what it all boils down to. American culture is constantly trying to restrain me because of who I am and they can fuck themselves. To this day I am not allowed to be a homosexual and willingly join the armed forces yet this time next year if this draft does take place I will bet you MY LIFE that suddenly that restriction will be lifted. Suddenly it won't matter, because I am only important to my country when they need their asses saved. For example, all the black men that served in WWII then were lynched when they came home. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE??? I live in the midwest where Christianity has a grip on so many skulls that it is almost impossible to say something like what I am saying now and be taken seriously. MYOPIA. BRAINWASHING. PROPOGANDA. BIAS. ETHNOCENTRICITY. If any of you do not know the meaning to any of those words, look them up. Then paint them on your wall in RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.

I am NOT PATRIOTIC.

Btw Josh and Butch are awesome, and they think with their own brains.

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