You know what? Gay people in the midwest are MISERABLE and FUCKED UP. Why? Because Jesus is our Lord and Savior. Because the midwest is socially 20 years behind both the east and west coast. Ok, here's my story. I go on a date with this guy today. We go to eat at the olive garden. The date seemed alright, except I did most of the talking. I was desperate for topics, I covered all the bases: school, home life, music, work, blahblahblah. He kept giving me these 5 word answers so naturally I get insecure about that, and start asking questions as to why he is acting so unusual. Then I go to the last and final resort-talking about myself, but you know what, if you don't wanna hear it, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. It was his fault. Well I eat my food and I'm satisfied, then we walk out and ask what to do next, it's 7:45. He gives me stupid shit about how he needs to do his HOMEWORK. Stupid motherfucking bullshit. So I leave, I'm like fuck this, I have straight friends who pay more attention to me than this. I go hang out with Butch and Josh for a few hours and have a great time doing practically nothing. I get online tonight and this guy is on. And he fucking tells me that I am basically a "flamer," that I flip my wrists and cross my legs and check out guys. I'm like YEAH I check out guys because I like guys, and I do NOT flip my wrists. That is dead wrong. I may cross my legs but so does practically everyone. I am offended, to a rediculous level. Well I dont want to explain it all, but this guy was troubled by the fact that I am gay and not a total closet case about it. I am casual about it, as opposed to being a paranoid schitzo about who knows. I just don't give a fuck. But I am not feminine. No matter what anyone says. I am just me. But this guy, OMG. There are so many people out there like him. They wanna be "straight acting." That is so self-depricating. That is basically letting this conservative society boss you around and blend in, and keep your "sinful ways" to yourself. FUCK a bunch of that. I mean, there are moments when you need to blend in. No matter what soapbox I'm standing on its still dangerous to say the wrong thing around like a redneck or a group of really macho close-minded morons. Don't poke a sleeping grizzly with a stick, thats stupid. But I have my right to live freely in this city and in this fucking country so sometimes people are just gonna have to see and hear things that make them uncomfortable. For those of you that know me, there is NOTHING about me that is reasonably offensive to the general public. If someone is offended because of a piercing, I am not sorry. If someone is offended because of the color of someones hair, NOT SORRY. If someone is offended because I am holding hands with a guy, GUESS WHAT, I AM NOT SORRY. And who is it that is usually offended? People who have no clue what it feels like to be stereotyped. Why are women so much more tolerent of gays than men? Because they have to deal with being a woman everyday in this dick-dictated society. I'm not going to change in order to please people, this is a conflict that a whole bunch of people can surely relate to. Thats what it all boils down to. American culture is constantly trying to restrain me because of who I am and they can fuck themselves. To this day I am not allowed to be a homosexual and willingly join the armed forces yet this time next year if this draft does take place I will bet you MY LIFE that suddenly that restriction will be lifted. Suddenly it won't matter, because I am only important to my country when they need their asses saved. For example, all the black men that served in WWII then were lynched when they came home. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE??? I live in the midwest where Christianity has a grip on so many skulls that it is almost impossible to say something like what I am saying now and be taken seriously. MYOPIA. BRAINWASHING. PROPOGANDA. BIAS. ETHNOCENTRICITY. If any of you do not know the meaning to any of those words, look them up. Then paint them on your wall in RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.
I am NOT PATRIOTIC.
Btw Josh and Butch are awesome, and they think with their own brains.